Ever Want To Punch Your Critics?
Have you ever wanted to take one of your critics and punch them in the face with a chair? Sometimes people just go at us. Sometimes we’ve done something. Most often we are just being ourselves, doing whatever it is that we want to do. As annoying as those critics may be, the best thing for you to do is to give them absolutely zero air time, because the more airtime you give to a critic, the more power you actually give them. The more you replay what they’ve said in your head, the more you are actually being sucked down their drama path.
I try so hard to get people to shoot videos. Video marketing is absolutely the future of all marketing. By the end of 2019 it’s going to be the number one thing you see in your newsfeed. Yet people don’t do it! The most common reason people don’t do something like video marketing is that they’re afraid of critics. They’re afraid that they’re going to come off sounding like they don’t know what they’re talking about. They’re afraid they will be criticized for giving out common knowledge and passing it off as expert knowledge. Meanwhile, it’s not common knowledge. It might be common knowledge among your peers, but it’s not necessarily common knowledge among your prospects and your customers.
I want to tell you something important about critics: if you don’t have critics, you’re playing it too safe. You’re not putting yourself out there and you’re not going to grow. If you’re just afraid of doing things because you think someone’s not going to like it, then you are doing not only yourself a disservice, but also a disservice to your clients and your prospects. Not making videos is actually hurting your clients. Hopefully this thought can be an impetus for you.
I don’t wear makeup. I never did. I didn’t grow up with it, because of the church that I belonged to, and that was the rules of the house. When I left that church in my mid 30s, I had a huge fear of going into Sephora. I had a critic inside me saying, “Well I can’t go in there because it’s just too embarrassing. They’re going to think poorly of me. They’re going to think I’m weird.” That mentality kept me from growing for so long.
That same mentality that put fear into my brain about Sephora kept me from doing videos for years. I look at other women and they have beautiful hair and they have beautiful makeup and they look great and I didn’t know how to do that. I’m a very low maintenance person and was afraid people wouldn’t watch my videos compared to those women with beautiful hair and makeup. And that fear kept me from allowing my message to disseminate into the world. But I got over it and learned an important lesson: if someone is going to criticize me for not wearing makeup or not doing my hair in a video, they’re not my people in the first place.
I want to tell you a story of how powerful it can be to not be owned by your critics. Once upon a time, my mom joined a church that forbade her to wear makeup. This was a big deal as in the past she used to sell makeup and was known for the fabulous artistry she used to paint herself with. One day, she went to a very fancy party in a very rich neighbourhood. She wore a beautiful gown, as it was a black-tie affair – but she wore no makeup. Then, incredulously, a woman approached my mom and slapped her right across the face and said, “You needed more colour.”
Those moments will make any of us want to punch our critics in the face with a chair. But my mother? She responded to that woman with “I don’t need that kind of colour” as she turned and walked away. Instead of being defeated by that critic my mother solidified her beliefs in what she was doing. That moment didn’t stop her from holding true to her values.
So again, if you don’t have critics, you’re playing it too safe. I’m not suggesting we all go and get assaulted by people in order to feel justified in our beliefs. I’m saying don’t be afraid of someone disagreeing with you. It’s your opportunity to have a conversation. It’s your opportunity not to defend your position, but to explain your position.
Another important lesson about critics that I want to illustrate to you is that no one has ever built statues for critics. They’ve only built the statutes to inventors, creators and the brave. If someone’s coming at you because of something that you have said, look at what they’re doing. Are they actually creating? Do they have a leg to stand on, or do they just have so much fear inside themselves that seeing you do something actually makes them feel bad about themselves?
The next time you’re afraid of doing something, remember how much of that criticism is in your head. And even if it does, remember, someone else’s criticism usually comes because they have fear; they have a problem and it’s not yours to fix.
There’s a great book I recommend for you to read about this very topic. If you liked the Four Agreements, there’s another one called The Fifth Agreement, and it said you should listen with respect, but with criticism. Even if your critics come out of the woodwork, you don’t have to debase yourself to their level. You also do not have to absorb their baggage. Their poison doesn’t need to be a part of you.
In the book, A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle, and also Michael Singer’s book, The Untethered Soul, there is a discussion about life flowing through you. If problems stick to you, they’re going to continue to come up and they’re going to hurt you again and again and again. If someone has said something to you in the past and you keep regurgitating it and you think about it at night, when you’re driving your car, or wherever, you’re actually continuing to hurt yourself. That critic isn’t thinking about you anymore. Yet you are allowing that poison to continue to bubble up and keep you from being productive and successful. When you are keeping your voice quiet because of pain, the people who need you the most aren’t hearing your message – they are indirectly suffering because of that critic’s unjustified victory.
Forget the armchair critics. They’re not going to get a statue, but you can. Remember that if you’ve got critics, it means you’re doing something, you’re moving the dial and you’re challenging people to think differently. I hope you found this helpful. If you love it, share it. If you have comments, post below and if you don’t wear makeup, you can join the no makeup brigade.