How we help you ignite the fire within

I hope you’re having a wonderful day. Today I wanted to address something near and dear to my heart, and that is anxiety and fear. Fear is one of the things that holds us back from achieving whatever it is that we want to achieve in life.

My four kids and their friends are riddled by anxiety. They feel that they need to know what they’re supposed to do in life. They fear they have to have a plan by the age of 15, so when they graduate high school and go into university it only gets worse. If you read anything in the media about work stress, you’ll learn that the amount of stress in our lives is only increasing.

What I want to impart with you today are some strategies that have helped my ex, who has acute anxiety disorder, my son who has generalized anxiety disorder, and some of their friends, overcome some of these massive moments of anxiety and fear. It’s called the One Minute Rule. The One Minute Rule is very simple: if you feel an upwelling of anxiety and fear (when I do it’s almost like a choking feeling), all you need to do … and this sounds so simple, is to breathe. Breathe deeply and consciously. Every single psychiatrist and psychologist I have visited for my loved ones over the past few decade has said the same thing, breathe.

Anxiety is usually like a kick of adrenaline; it’s an irrational reaction to a rational situation. Sometimes there’s no trigger, and it can hit you out of the blue. And those are the ones that are the most disconcerting. Eckhart Tolle, in his book A New Earth, talks about how you can meditate for hours and hours and hours, but the same kind of peace and calm can be accomplished simply by taking three conscious breaths.

And as an entrepreneur, you can feel like you are on an emotional roller coaster. Success is not a straight increasing line on a graph. Success in your business will go up and down. There’s going to be moments of anxiety. But you need to plow through those. Dreams are achieved despite the fact that we have fear. Courage is action in the face of fear.

I appreciate that there’s times when it’s really, really hard to do that. I’m getting a little emotional thinking about it because there’s some things going on that are kind of tough for me right now. But you power through, because that’s what we do.

Imagine your life as a blue sky and anxieties are like little clouds that pass through it. They’re there for a little bit, and you will get a bit emotional during those moments. That’s when you take these deep breaths. There might be some tears, but you plow through it, and you make it. Be brave in those tough days, don’t let those tough days bring you down. Tell yourself over and over, this toughness will pass.

On the other side of toughness there is strength.  The most important thing about anxiety and fear is not to, what I call “pull the rip-cord.” If you pull the rip-cord, and you run away in a moment when you are experiencing a panic attack, the next time you have one of those panic attacks it’s going to be worse, and worse, and worse, and worse. The way that you make sure that your next moment of anxiety or fear is not overwhelming for you, is you look at it as, “it’s going to pass, it’s a wave,” and you breathe through it. Don’t run. Don’t turn to things like alcohol, or drugs, or anything like those, they will not help you.

Anxiety is a terrible thing. It’s one of the key things that stops people from achieving happiness and riches. Sometimes it stops people from leaving the house or even getting out of bed. When you can see your life as that sky, and these moments of anxiety as passing clouds, you will realize you are strong and you can overcome anything.

10 years ago, I had lots of anxiety and fear. I was a single mom, I was a hundred thousand in debt, had two little kids and no hope. It was so difficult for me back then. Now it’s a lot easier for me, I know what I need to do to get out of these anxious situations. That doesn’t make my current situation any easier to deal with, it’s still hard, but I know what I need to do, and I have faith in myself, and in my abilities to dig deep, to reach in through my support network, and to overcome this little blip, and to carry on and be stronger.

When you breathe and power through anxiety, panic attacks, overwhelming senses of fear, hopelessness, or depression – especially without turning to substances or crutches, you’re going to find your ability to power through the next one faster. It’s not ever easier to go through one of these experiences, but you can handle it with more grace, and you can make it.

If any of you guys are having tough days, remember that we all have tough days and you are not alone. Even though I’m so excited by life and I’ve got so much on the go, I still have those tough days. We have to remember everyone has tough days. Do what you need to do to healthily go through it. Call your best friend and talk to them about it, call someone in your support network, watch a funny movie, sometimes I watch Ellen DeGeneres’s show on YouTube because it makes me happy and laugh. Those clips remind me of the good in the world.

You’re going to find things that will help you to get past whatever it is that you’re going through right now. Remember to breathe or try the One Minute Rule and you’ll find that on the other side you will feel proud of your accomplishments. Even if it was just breathing deeply and consciously for a whole minute. You’re going to build upon that strength, every single time you go through this.

I hope you have found this helpful. If you know someone out there is having a tough go just reach out and just let them know that you hear them, and that you see them. And if you feel the strength in you, pay it forward! Teach them the One Minute Rule and maybe that will help them. There’s a girl that’s living with me right now, she’s running on hard times, and she’s been having panic attacks. I taught her the One Minute Rule, and it’s helped her tremendously to get through simple things like a Go Train ride, but also when she gets hit by anxiety and she doesn’t know what to do with it.

I hope you have a great day. I wish you success and all the best today. Always remember to breathe!