How Big is Your “But”?

How big is your “but”? No, I’m not talking about a body part. I read that tagline from an ad recently and it was something I thought was both hilarious and certainly caught my attention because I’ve seen a million ads that talk about our bodies. What I want to talk about (and what the ad was talking about as well) is the “but” we use as an excuse to not do something. A lot of my clients that I talk to talk about a lot of obstacles that prevent them from achieving their dreams.  They’ve made their “but” bigger than it needs to be.

So how do we get rid of our big “buts”? We can’t deny sometimes that we have big buts and, and yet that doesn’t mean we have to accept that’s necessarily what we’re stuck with. I was reading a book called Limitless by Jim Quick. In it he talks about fixed mentality versus growth mentality. Fixed mentality is “I’ve always been this way. I’m always going to be this way”. Growth mentality is “maybe this is something I can change”.

I have a terrible memory. I’ve had one since I was a little girl. I used to tell myself, “I can do this, but I’ve got a bad memory. I could probably do a presentation with slides, but I have a bad memory.” It took me years to realize I was holding myself back. I’ve decided I no longer want to be hindered by my “but” and I want to shrink it. I want to grow. I want to change. With a fixed mentality, a “but” won’t let you do that.

It’s also important to note that we don’t just have one “but” in life. Another “but” of mine is that I do really well in sports until I choke. It became a fixed mentality in my life. The more buts we have, the harder it is for us to progress. The harder it is for us to progress, it becomes even harder for us to generate happiness. Things don’t happen to us. We generate them. So anger doesn’t happen to us, we generate that. Happiness doesn’t happen to us, we generate that.

I want you to be able to turn a big “but” into a little “but”. Then I want you to move onto another big “but” . The more you shrink, the easier the process becomes! One day you’re going to realize that you don’t have any “buts” at all. And that, my friends, is a good day. I’m going to be opening up my group coaching coming up in August. So look out for some information about that there, because I’ll be talking about getting rid of all the “buts”: the big “buts”, the little “buts” and all the “buts” in between. In order to be more confident and influential, you need to get rid of those “buts”.

If you want more people to say yes to you and take you on as their business partner, if you want better relationships with your kids or your family, or you just want to have a little bit more stability in your life – this coaching program might be perfect for you. Please join my mailing list. Just go to my website,, wait 15 seconds and you’ll get a little pop up and you’ll be the first in line to get some information about the program. While we cannot deny that each of us has some big “buts” in our lives – that doesn’t mean they always have to be there! Until next time, my friends.