The Self-Judgment Paradox

I’ve been getting better and better at not getting freaked out at two o’clock in the morning because my brain is running in a million directions.

One of the cool things about doing what I do is when I get into these cycles, I become really aware of what’s going on in my brain. By unpacking and understanding what’s really keeping me up, I’m able to discover what I really need to do instead of what my brain is trying to do.

That way, I can stop the cycle of what I call the Self-Judgment Paradox – that horrible descent into negative self-talk, doubt, fear, anxiety and paralysis.

The Self-Judgment Paradox

Getting your brain to wake you up at 2:00 AM with racing thoughts? I call that the Self-Judgment Paradox. It’s a truly annoying cycle to fall into.

The cycle usually begins with being freaked out about something, say, for instance, an event you’re hosting. You’re not sure if people are going to show up or if they’re going to like what you have to say. As soon as you think of one negative thing that could go wrong, magically more and more keep cropping up. It becomes a cycle of self-judgment that prevents us from taking action.

The only way to combat inaction, however, is with action: DO you way out of the anxiety vortex.

Stop the Anxiety Train

One of the most important things when you’re diving back into a bad habit or a bad thought cycle is to stop the train. Take a minute to breathe and recognize the pattern you are walking into and how you don’t want to repeat it anymore.

Change your thought pattern from “I’m afraid, I can’t do this” to “I’m not afraid, I’m a doer.” Our brains believe what we tell ourselves. If we’re constantly feeding our brain negative thoughts, even if they are questions, we subconsciously believe them. Tell your brain you can do it!

I talk about the Self-Judgment Paradox both in my book and my training. I’ve actually just opened up registration for my group training. It’s 75% off, please check out,

The Wolf That Wins

I’m incredibly proud of my son, who just wrote a blog called “How To Survive A Panic Attack”. He’s fourteen and has been dealing with this since he was three. In his blog he used a story that I have told him many times. There are always two wolves that are fighting in your head.

The good wolf, which is all the positive thoughts and positive ways that you look at yourself, and the bad wolf, which is all the negative thoughts, self-judgment and self sabotage, that holds you back from success.

These wolves never stop fighting, and you will always have both within you. The one that wins the battle is the one that you feed.

DO Your Way Out

People tend to think that in order to conquer horrible thoughts and judgment paradoxes, we have to do something bold and big and huge. The honest answer is that you don’t. All you need is a small thing, one small step that you can commit to and that you actually do to start breaking that cycle.

I won’t deny that sometimes that small step can be uncomfortable, but nothing good ever came easy. And I believe in your strength.

We can become very used to self-sabotage and self-judgment. It can become so entrenched in our day or identity that we don’t even notice that it’s there. I need you to remember that your negative thoughts don’t have to define you. The good wolf can win – and regularly too!

Introduce a NEW thought

If you’re struggling with something right now, a fear, a thought, a belief that doesn’t serve where you want to go, think differently about it.

What is a new thought? It could be that you could think of yourself as being accomplished or that you’re smart enough.

Take the old thought, flip it around on its head and think the exact opposite. Start there. What is ONE thing you can do to move you in the direction of where you want to go?

And take that small step, that big leap, or crawl that tiny little inch – but whatever you do, DO something.

And flip the script on how you talk to yourself so your brain can find new opportunities for you to latch onto, firmly putting you on the path to the life you want.


P.S. If you’re still stuck, please click on that link or go to, and check out what’s there.

The program is designed not to tell you what to do, but to show you all the habits and mindsets based on science and neuroscience that have been proven to deliver increased income, happiness, confidence, and success, and not just for today, but for every day.